Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Monster In The Kitchen


This post was actually from before the Holidays, but given the busy season I am just now getting around to finishing it and posting it. Anyway, Enjoy. :p

Chyanne and I came home a few nights ago from a quick trip to Meijer where I had to buy pants because I had no clean pants. No big deal. We walked in talking about random junk, went into the kitchen with our bags full of soup and macaroni (which seemed like a good idea at the time) and put them on the counter. Everything was joyful and happy and great with the food and pants and random purchases and such.


But then, everything got dark very quickly. I walked over to open the fridge to put our soda inside when I noticed a spot above the doorway. I’m super blind so I had to look really close to see what it was, I was about 5 inches away from one of the top ten most terrifying looking bugs I've ever seen in my life.


It had about a million legs it seemed like, and walked like a snaked slithered – all wiggly and zigzagged. 


I demanded that Chyanne come in and behold this monstrosity on our wall. She came in brave as a noun and decided to battle this foe, after documenting its appearance of course.

I swear the bug was much like a suicidal wasp, hornet, bee whatever where they die after they sting you. This bug was actually a bomb of legs, guts and ooze, however we weren't aware until it was too late.

She leapt into action with her fly swatter swinging away, it all happened so fast. Immediately after smashing, there was a loud pop followed by the bomb shrapnel going into her hair and eyes. This was biological warfare now. The bug’s AIDS juices were now contaminating my roommate.


When the dust settled they were both on the ground, she had lost her weapon after it flew across the kitchen and underneath the dining room table. Although she was wounded, she survived. Thankfully the AIDS juices didn't take her, because I really didn't want to have to look for a new roommate, that’s such a hassle.

Oh by the way, here’s the actual photo of the bug that we went to war with. Yeah, just think about that crawling around your everything as you sleep. >:(